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Under the Influence - Bar Jokes - Mystery Voices
 Bill is sitting alone at a bar enjoying a quiet drink, when he
 hears a little, high-pitched voice say 'Oh, you're quite amazing,
 you're really something special'
 
 Bill wheels round to see where the voice is coming from, but
 except for him and the bartender the bar is completely empty.
 
 A little un-nerved at the experience he decides he must have been
 day-dreaming, so decides to occupy his idle mind with a little
 flutter on the fruit machine in the corner. He puts his money in
 the slot and spins the reels. Each of the reels clicks to a halt -
 oranges, cherries, bananas - no win. Immediately he loses he hears
 a rough booming voice - 'What a loser! You'll never win! And
 you're ugly to boot!'
 
 Again Bill wheels round to locate the source of the voice, but
 the bar is still empty except for him and the bartender.
 
 He decides that the bartender must be playing tricks, so decides
 to challenge him - 'Hey Buddy! What's your game with the voices?'
 
 'I'm sorry sir' replies the bartender 'I don't know what you mean,
 I haven't spoken a word.'
 
 'Don't play tricks with me!' storms Bill 'One minute you're
 saying nice stuff about me, then shouting abuse!'
 
 'Ah yes' replies the bartender 'that will be the peanuts and the
 fruit machine again - they can't help themselves I'm afraid.'
 
 'What on earth are you talking about' demands Bill.
 
 'Well sir - the peanuts on the bar are complimentary, and the
 fruit machine in the corner is out of order.'

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