Stage 1 - SMART
 ---------------
 This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the
 known universe. You know you know everything and you want to pass
 on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are
 always RIGHT. And of course, the person you are talking to is very
 WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties
 are SMART.
 
 Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING
 ----------------------
 This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in
 the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a
 perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to
 you. Keep in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to
 this person about any subject under the sun.
 
 Stage 3 - RICH
 --------------
 This is when you suddenly become the RICHEST person in the world.
 You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armored
 truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets
 at this stage, because of course you're still SMART, so naturally,
 you will win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet
 because you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that
 you fancy, because you are also the BEST LOOKING person in the
 world.
 
 Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF
 ----------------------
 You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone,
 especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This
 is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up
 to the partners of the people whom you fancy and challenge them to
 a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle,
 because you're SMART, you're RICH and Hell, you're better looking
 than them anyway!
 
 Stage 5 - INVISIBLE
 -------------------
 This is the final stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do
 anything, because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to
 impress the people whom you fancy, because the rest of the people
 in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person
 who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at
 the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you - and
 because you're still SMART you know ALL the words."