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Under The Influence - Bar Jokes - Sexy Timepiece
 
 A man is sitting at a bar one night, wearing a fancy new watch, 
 covered with buttons and lights and dials. 
 
 The woman next to him says, "Wow, that's a really fancy watch." 
 
 Thanks, says the guy, "It's the cutting edge of technology. I can 
 telepathically ask this watch anything I want to know, and it'll 
 answer me, telepathically." 
 
 "Rubbish," says the girl. 
 
 "No, it's true," says that guy. "Look, tell you what, I'll prove 
 it. I'll ask it if you've got any panties on." 
 
 The guy scrunches up his eyes for a moment, as if concentrating 
 hard to talk to his watch, then opens them and says, "Nope, it 
 says you haven't got any panties on." 
 
 "Well, it's wrong," says the girl, "I do have panties on." 
 
 "Damn," says the guy, slapping his watch, "it's an hour fast!" 

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