Men are like... place mats. They only show up when there's food
 on the table.
 
 Men are like... mascara. They usually run at the first sign of
 emotion.
 
 Men are like... bike helmets. Handy in an emergency, but otherwise
 they just look silly.
 
 Men are like... government bonds. They take so long to mature.
 
 Men are like... parking spots. All the good ones are taken.
 
 Men are like... copiers. You need them for reproduction, but
 that's about it.
 
 Men are like... lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that
 bright.
 
 Men are like... bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't
 generate much interest.
 
 Men are like... high heels. They're easy to walk on once you get
 the hang of it.
 
 Men are like... miniskirts. If you're not careful, they'll creep
 up your legs.