Dear Max,
 
 Please refer to your letter dated today. I am pleased to inform 
 you that I hope to accept your proposal for romance.
 
 However, you should be informed that there are certain conditions 
 of acceptance. Promotional prospects are to my satisfaction. 
 However, please enlighten me as to your retirement benefits. 
 Gratuity should be generous.
 
 I also need to be assured that there is sufficient security 
 with regards to this commitment. If there is any chance at all 
 of retrenchment or consequent disinterest on your part, then I 
 should receive monetary compensation according to union standards.
 
 Due to the nature of my position, I am sure you will agree that 
 an expense account should be arranged for my access in light of 
 the 'VIP' I shall be entertaining. In addition, housing and 
 transport allowances should be in order and nothing less than 
 a Jaguar is in order.
 
 Please also note that there should be no moonlighting restrictions 
 placed on myself. If you are still interested in the relationship, 
 please reply on an urgent basis as other prospective lovers have 
 sent indications of interest.
 
 Please also note that my sister is happily employed.
 
 Yours perhaps, Samantha!