A young woman, in the course of her college life, came to terms
 with her homosexuality and decided to come out of the closet.
 
 Her plan was to tell her mother first; so on her next home visit,
 she went to the kitchen, where her mother was busying herself
 stirring stew with a wooden spoon. Rather nervously, she explained
 to her that she had realized she was gay.
 
 Without looking up from her stew, her mother said, "You mean,
 lesbian?"
 
 "Well... yes."
 
 Still without looking up: "Does that mean lick women down below?"
 
 Caught off guard, the young woman eventually managed to stammer an
 embarrassed affirmative; whereupon her mother turned to her and,
 brandishing the wooden spoon threateningly under her nose, snapped:
 "Don't you *EVER* complain about my cooking again!"