This guy walks into a pet store. For the past two weeks he has
 suspected his wife of cheating on him, so he decides to buy a
 parrot that can tell him what goes on at his house during the day
 while he is at work.
 
 "Well," says the pet store owner, "I only got one bird that can do
 that, but he's got no legs."
 
 The guy looks at him and says, "Well if he ain't got no legs,
 how's he balance himself on the perch?"
 
 The clerk replies, "He's got a really long penis, so he wraps it
 around the perch."
 
 The guy thinks it over and decides to buy the parrot. He takes it
 home and sure enough the bird wraps his penis around the perch for
 balance.
 
 Everyday the man comes home and asks the parrot if his wife has been
 cheating on him. Everytime the same answer, "Raawk, nothing doing,
 Raawk".
 
 Well, one day he comes home and finds the parrot lying on the
 bottom of its birdcage. He picks it up and asks what has happened.
 
 "Raawk, big happenings, Raawk, big happenings" replied the parrot.
 
 "Well, what happened?" asks the man.
 
 The parrot responds, "Raawk, first your best friend came over,
 Raawk, then your wife made him breakfast, raawk, then they started
 kissing, raawk, then your wife took off her shirt."
 
 "And, and, then what happens?" asks the man really upset.
 
 "Raawk, I don't know, thats when I got a woody and fell off my
 perch!"