Due to increasing product liability, beer manufacturers have
 accepted the Government's suggestion that the following warning
 labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:
 
 Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
          whispering when you are not.
 
 Warning: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like
          a wanker.
 
 Warning : Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same
           boring story over and over again until your friends want
           to smash your face in.
 
 Warning : Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
           ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at
           4 in the morning.
 
 Warning : Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
           hell happened to your trousers.
 
 Warning : Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can
           logically converse with other members of the opposite
           sex without spitting.
 
 Warning : Consumption of alcohol may make you think you possess
           mystical Kung-Fu powers. Warning : Consumption of
           alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and
           see something really scary (whose species, and/or name
           you can't remember)
 
 Warning : Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
           inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
 
 Warning : Consumption of alcohol may lead to traffic signs and
           cones appearing in your home.
 
 Warning : Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are
           invisible.
 
 Warning : Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
           people are laughing with you.
 
 Warning : Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the
           time-space continuum, whereby small
          (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally
           disappear.