Here are some of the classic questions that were asked of the
 Sydney Olympic Committee via their Web site, and answers supplied
 where appropriate.
 
 Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain
    on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
 
 A: Upwards, out of the ground, like the person who asked this
    question, who themselves will need watering if their IQ drops
    any lower...
 
 
 Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
 
 A: Depends on how much beer you've consumed...
 
 
 Q: Which direction should I drive - Perth to Darwin or Darwin to
    Perth - to avoid driving with the sun in my eyes? (Germany)
 
 A: Excellent question, considering that the Olympics are being
    held in Sydney.
 
 
 Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad
    tracks? (Sweden)
 
 A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, so you'll need to have
    started about a year ago to get there in time for this
    October...
 
 Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
 A: And accomplish what?
 
 
 Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places
    to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)
 
 A: I'm not touching this one...
 
 
 Q: My client wants to take a steel pooper-scooper into Australia.
    Will you let her in? (South Africa)
 
 A: Why? We do have toilet paper here...
 
 
 Q: Are there any ATMs in Australia? Can you send me a list of them
    in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
 
 
 Q: Where can I learn underwater welding in Australia? (Portugal)
 
 
 Q: Do the camels in Australia have one hump or two? (UK)
 
 
 Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
 
 A: Why bother? Use your fingers like the rest of us...
 
 
 Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
 
 A: No. Everybody stinks.
 
 
 Q: Do tents exist in Australia? (Germany)
 
 A: Yes, but only in sporting supply stores, peoples' garages, and
    most national parks...
 
 
 Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
 
 A: This HAS to have been asked by a blonde...
 
 
 Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female
    population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
 
 A: Yes. Gay nightclubs.
 
 
 Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
 A: Yes. At Christmas.
 
 
 Q: Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef? (Germany)
 
 A: Sure, if your vehicle is amphibious.
 
 
 Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)
 
 A: Not yet, but we'll see what we can do when you get here.
 
 
 Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in
    Australia? (USA)
 
 A: What's this guy smoking, and where do I get some?
 
 
 Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year
    round? (Germany)
 
 A: Another blonde?
 
 
 Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
    rattlesnake serum. (USA)
 
 A: I love this one...there are no rattlesnakes in Australia.
 
 
 Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
 
 A: Face North and you should be about right.
 
 
 Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
 
 A: Americans have long had considerable trouble distinguishing
    between Austria and Australia.
 
 
 Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I
    forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
 
 
 Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.
    Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
 
 A: From Liz Taylor, perhaps?
 
 
 Q: Are there places in Australia where you can make love outdoors?
    (Italy)
 
 A: Yes. Outdoors.
 
 
 Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the
    girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help?
    (USA)
 
 
 Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
 
 A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.