I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to
 pronounce.
 
 I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in
 public.
 
 I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
 
 It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're
 saying.
 
 I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.
 
 I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
 
 You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
 
 I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
 
 I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
 
 Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point
 of view.
 
 What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
 
 Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
 
 And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
 
 Do I look like a people person?
 
 This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
 
 Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
 
 If I throw a stick, will you leave?
 
 I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
 
 Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
 
 How do I set a laser printer to stun?
 
 I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a paycheck.