Sign in a Laundromat:
 AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES:
 PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
 
 Sign in a London department store:
 BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
 
 In an office:
 WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING
 IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
 
 In an office:
 AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE
 DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
 
 Outside a secondhand shop:
 WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. 
 WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
 
 Notice in health food shop window:
 CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
 
 Spotted in a safari park:
 ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
 
 Seen during a conference:
 FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY
 CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR
 
 Notice in a field:
 THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE
 BULL CHARGES
 
 Message on a leaflet:
 IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU