Ski season is almost here! Hence, the following list of exercises
 to get you prepared: 
 
 16. Visit your local butcher and pay £30 to sit in the walk-in
     freezer for a half an hour. Afterwards, burn two £50 notes to
     warm up. 
 
 15. Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after every
     use. 
 
 14. Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of your
     head before you go to bed each night. 
 
 13. If you wear glasses, begin wearing them with glue smeared on
     the lenses. 
 
 12. Throw away a two £50 notes-now. 
 
 11. Find the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice 20 times in
     your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and
     poles. Pretend you are looking for your car. Sporadically drop
     things. 
 
 10. Place a small but angular pebble in your shoes, line them with
     crushed ice, and then tighten a C-clamp around your toes. 
 
 9. Buy a new pair of gloves and immediately throw one away. 
 
 8. Secure one of your ankles to a bedpost and ask a friend to run
    into you at high speed. 
 
 7. Go to McDonald's and insist on paying £8.50 for a hamburger. Be
    sure you are in the longest line. 
 
 6. Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a
    motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face. 
 
 5. Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's in a
    snowstorm and you're following an 18-wheeler. 
 
 4. Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray
    blast your face. Leave the ice on your face until it melts. Let
    it drip into your clothes. 
 
 3. Dress up in as many clothes as you can and then proceed to take
    them off because you have to go to the bathroom. 
 
 2. Slam your thumb in a car door. Don't go see a doctor. 
 
 1. Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday until it's
    time for the real thing!