A man has spent many days crossing the desert without water.
 His camel dies of thirst. He's crawling through the sands, certain
 that he has breathed his last, when all of a sudden he sees a
 shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.
 
 He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers
 what looks to be an ash tray from an old car. He opens it and out
 pops a genie.... But this is no ordinary genie. He is wearing a 
 polka dot bow tie and a plaid sport coat. There's a dog-eared
 little book in the breast pocket with a blue cover. He has a
 pencil tucked behind one ear.
 
 "Well, kid," says the genie. "You know how it works. You have
 three wishes."
 
 "I'm not falling for this." says the man. "I'm not going to trust
 a car salesman!"
 
 "What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it
 looks like you're a goner anyway!"
 
 The man thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie
 is  right. "OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plentiful food
 and drink."
 
 ***POOF***  The man finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he
 has ever seen. And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters
 of delicacies.
 
 "OK, kid, what's your second wish."
 
 "My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams."
 
 ***POOF***  The man finds himself surrounded by treasure chests
 filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.
 
 "OK, kid, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!"
 
 After thinking for a few minutes, the man says, "I wish that no
 matter where I go beautiful woman will want and need me."
 
 ***POOF***  He is turned into a tampon.
 
 The moral of the story? If a car salesman offers you anything at
 no cost, there's going to be a string attached.