Join the Joke-Zone mailing list. Get free jokes in your e-mail !!

Subscribe
Unsubscribe

 


The best collection of jokes on the net.

Miscellaneous - Actual Extracts From Insurance Claim Forms
 1. I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary 
    than I thought.
 
 2. I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet.
    I realized the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it
    with a blanket.
 
 3. Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the
       accident?
 
    A: Traveled by bus?
 
 4. This Norwich Union customer collided with a cow. The questions
    and answers on the claim form were:
 
    Q: What warning was given by you?
 
    A: Horn
 
    Q: What warning was given by the other party?
 
    A: Moo
 
 5. I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel
    and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused
    me to lose concentration and hit a bollard.
 
 6. On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly
    broke.
 
 7. I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the
    pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost
    control.
 
 8. I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight.
 
 9. I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not 
    have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.
 
 10. Q: Do you engage in motorcycling, hunting or any other
     pastimes of a hazardous nature?
 
     A: I Watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan.
 
 11. First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a 
     haggis ran into the rear of second car.
 
 12. Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo.
 
 13. The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him
     again.
 
 14. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my 
     mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
 
 15. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its 
     intention.
 
 16. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
 
 17. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
 
 18. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
 
 19. In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
 
 20. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home.
     As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up obscuring my
     vision and I did not see the other car.
 
 21. I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my 
     universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
 
 22. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck the
     pedestrian.
 
 23. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
 
 24. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and
     vanished.
 
 25. I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later 
     found in a ditch by some stray cows.

Send this joke to a friend :- Or to yourself ?

Your name :  
Your e-mail :  
Friend's name :  
Friend's e-mail :  

 

 

Rate this joke :-

5 - Hilarious
4 - Very funny
3 - Funny
2 - Mildly amusing
1 - Groan !

 

Top Links
Links to other humour related websites
Click Here


[ Home ] [ Under the Influence ] [ Relationships / Marriage ] [ Computers & Internet ] [ Religion ]
[ Health & Fitness ] [ Politically Incorrect ] [ Education ] [ Gender ] [ Mother Nature ] [ Miscellaneous ]

Disclaimer & Privacy Policy

Joke-Zone recommends ShoeStorm.Com - compare shoes, merchants and prices and save money. Over 60,000 footwear products.