A rich, lonely widow decided that she needed another man in her
 life, so she placed a personal ad that read:
 
 RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN TO SHARE LIFE AND FORTUNE WITH THE
 FOLLOWING QUALIFICATIONS:
 
 1. WON'T BEAT ME UP
 2. WON'T RUN AWAY
 3. HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED
 
 For several months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell was
 ringing constantly, she received tons of mail...all to no avail.
 None of the men seemed to meet her qualifications.
 
 Then one day the doorbell rang yet again.  She opened the door to
 find a man, with no arms and no legs, lying on the welcome mat.
 Perplexed, she asked, "Who are you and what do you want?"
 
 "Hi," said the man "Your search is over, for I am the man of your
 dreams.  I've got no arms, so I can't beat you up and I've got no
 legs, so I can't run away."
 
 The old woman asked, "What makes you think you're so great in
 bed?"
 
 To which he replied, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"