I knew this guy, he told me this, but I don't know if it's true.
 
 He said that one day he was riding through North Carolina and he
 saw a sign that said: "VASELINE-POWERED CAR FOR SALE." He thought
 this was pretty odd, and he had plenty of time to screw off, so he
 decided to follow the signs to look at the Vaseline-powered car.
 
 He drove for about 5 miles and finally came upon a sign that
 pointed up a driveway, which led back into some woods. He pulled
 in and drove about half a mile and came upon a house. It looked
 deserted so he blew the horn. He waited for about a minute before
 an old man came out. He rolled his window down and called out to
 him, "Hey! Is it true that you have a Vaseline-powered car for
 sale?" The old man assured him he did and the guy asked him if he
 could see it.
 
 They walked back behind the house to an old barn. The old man
 opened the double-wide barn door and there was a car sitting under
 an old dirty blanket. 
 
 The old man pulled the blanket off the car and under it was a
 shiny red Corvette. "1969, 369 cubic inch, 400 horsepower, 4-speed
 transmission," the old man said. The guy asked him if it was true
 that the car ran on Vaseline. And the old man went to the Vaseline
 tank and stuck his hand inside. When he pulled it out it was
 covered with Vaseline. "Care to drive it?" he asked.
 
 As the guy snapped on his seat belt the old man said, "Don't go
 too fast. Vaseline has more pick-up than regular gas. And it's low
 on Vaseline, too, so don't go too far." The guy turned the key and
 the car fired up and it sounded like the space shuttle and then it
 settled down like a purring tiger.
 
 He found first gear and eased out of the barn. He turned onto the
 hardtop and hit second gear at 45 mph. Third at 70 and into fourth
 at 95. The car felt wonderful! 110 mph and so smooth! And the
 pick-up was unbelievable! He had covered 5 miles in under 3
 minutes and all of a sudden the car shut off. He coasted to a stop
 and got out.
 
 To his horror, he was out of Vaseline. He started to walk.
 
 Meanwhile, down the road...
 
 A family had just finished supper. There was Dad, Mom, and two
 daughters, one home from college, the other in high school. Dad
 was telling Mom how good supper was and Mom said that since she
 cooked such a fine meal that she shouldn't have to wash the
 dishes.
 
 The oldest girl said that she couldn't do the dishes because she
 had a date and the other said she had homework to do and couldn't
 do the dishes.
 
 Dad said that he was the man of the house and he'll be damned if
 he did the dishes. They argued for a few minutes and then Dad told
 everybody to shut up. He said that since they couldn't decide who
 would wash the dishes then what they should do is go in the living
 room, sit down, and the first person to say anything would have to
 do the dishes. They agreed and moved to the living room.
 
 They sat down and stared at each other, not speaking a word.
 Everybody had their mouths closed. Nobody dared to speak. Silence
 filled the room. 
 
 There was a knock at the door. A few moments later, another knock.
 The man at the door saw the family through the window. He knocked
 again but nobody answered. He walked in.
 
 "Hey, I knocked on your door but nobody said... Hey, food! Do you
 mind if I have some?" the stranger asked. Nobody said anything.
 
 So he went to the table and started eating. He looked in the
 fridge and found some beer and asked if he could have some. Nobody
 said anything.
 
 He drank three or four beers and got a little buzz. He walked into
 the living room and asked Dad if he minded if he had sex with his
 oldest daughter. Nobody said anything.
 
 He took the girl in the bedroom and had sex with her.
 Later, he was back at the supper table drinking more beer. He
 walked back into the living room and asked Dad if he could have
 sex with his youngest daughter. Nobody said anything.
 
 He took her into the bedroom and had sex with her, too. Later,
 sitting at the table, after more beer, Mom started to look pretty
 good. He walked in and asked Dad if he minded if he had sex with his wife.
 Nobody said anything. 
 
 So he took Mom into the bedroom and had sex with her. When he was
 through he walked into the living room and stood in front of Dad.
 "Hey, do you have any Vaseline?" he asked dad. And Dad said, "I'll
 wash the damn dishes."