LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
 LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
 MARRIAGE - When you try to lose your spouse in a crowded room.
 
 LOVE - When intercourse is called "making love."
 LUST - When intercourse is called "screwing."
 MARRIAGE - When intercourse is a town in Pennsylvania.
 
 LOVE - When you argue over how many children to have.
 LUST - When you argue over whom gets the wet spot.
 MARRIAGE - When you argue over whose idea it was to have kids.
 
 LOVE - When you share everything you own.
 LUST - When you steal everything they own.
 MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything.
 
 LOVE - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
 LUST - When the relationship is over if you don't climax.
 MARRIAGE - When ... uh ... what's a climax?
 
 LOVE - When you phone each other just to say, "Hi."
 LUST - When you phone each other to pick a hotel room.
 MARRIAGE - When you phone each other to bitch about work.
 
 LOVE - When you write poems about your partner.
 LUST - When all you write is your phone number.
 MARRIAGE - When all you write is cheques.
 
 LOVE - When your only concern is for your partner's feelings
 LUST - When your only concern is to find a room with mirrors all
        around.
 MARRIAGE - When you're only concern as to what's on TV.
 
 LOVE - When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
 LUST - When you only see each other naked.
 MARRIAGE - When you never see each other awake.
 
 LOVE - When your heart flutters every time you see them.
 LUST - When your groin twitches every time you see them.
 MARRIAGE - When your wallet empties every time you see them.
 
 LOVE - When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you
        feel.
 LUST - When the song on the radio determines how you do it.
 MARRIAGE - When you listen to talk radio.
 
 LOVE - When breaking up is something you try not to think about.
 LUST - When staying together is something you try not to think
        about.
 MARRIAGE - When just getting through the day is your only thought.
 
 LOVE - When you're only interested in doing things with your
        partner.
 LUST - When you're only interested in doing things TO your
        partner.
 MARRIAGE - When you're only interested in your golf score.
 
 LOVE- When a rainy day means more time to stay inside and talk.
 LUST- When a rainy day means more time to stay inside and have
       sex.
 MARRIAGE- When a rainy day means it's time to clean the basement
 
 LOVE- You only leave the house to buy coffee and doughnuts.
 LUST- You only leave the house to buy condoms and Vaseline.
 MARRIAGE- You only leave the house when you're allowed