I married Miss Right.  I just didn't know her first name was
 Always.
 
 Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and
 suffering.
 
 The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" 
 I said, "Dust!"
 
 In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created
 man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God
 nor man has rested.
 
 Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
 
 Q. What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
 A. About 5 drinks.
 
 Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.
 
 
 Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a
            man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
 
 Dad: That happens in every country, son.
 
 
 A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife Wanted". Next day
 he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You
 can have mine."
 
 The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to
 forget it once.
 
 
 First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!
 
 Second guy:  "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
 
 
 Q. How do most men define marriage?
 
 A. An expensive way to get laundry done for free.
 
 
 Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness
 was until I got married; and then it was too late."
 
 A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to
 get married?" 
 
 The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying!"