A man and his wife have been married for 18 years when, one day
 the woman explains to her best friend that everything is wonderful
 except for one thing.
 
 Their sex life is incredible, but she doesn't understand why her
 husband always turns off the lights. So, her friend tells her to
 turn them on and surprise him.
 
 Well, that night right in the middle of their most intimate
 moment, she flips on the light, only to find out that her husband
 is using a sex toy on her! 
 
 "How long has this been going on?", she demands, leaping from the
 marital bed.
 
 "Well, I've been pleasing you like this for 18 years" he replies,
 "and you never complained before".
 
 "You've got a lot of explaining to do mister!!" screeches the
 wife, getting very upset.
 
 "Well" replies the husband "I'll explain the toy when you explain
 our 5 children."