A guy just died and he's at the pearly gates, waiting to be
 admitted, while St. Peter is leafin' through this Big Book to see
 if the guy is worthy.
 
 St. Peter goes through the Book several times, furrows his brow
 and says to the guy, 'You know, I can't see that you ever did
 anything really bad in your life, but you never did anything
 really good either. If you can point to even one REALLY GOOD
 DEED-- you're in.'
 
 The guy thinks for a moment and says, 'Yeah, there was this one
 time when I was driving down the highway and saw a giant group of
 thugs assaulting this poor girl. I slowed down my car to see what
 was going on and sure enough, there they were, about 50 of 'em
 harassing this terrified young woman.
 
 Infuriated, I got out of my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my
 trunk, and walked up to the leader of the gang, a huge guy with a
 studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his
 ear. As I walked up to the leader, the thugs formed a circle
 around me. So, I ripped the leader's chain off his face and
 smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Layed him out. Then
 I turned and yelled at the rest of them, 'Leave this poor innocent
 girl alone! You're all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home
 before I teach you all a lesson in pain!''
 
 St. Peter, impressed, says, 'Really? When did this happen?'
 
 'Oh, about two minutes ago.