Saint Peter had a terrible cold and fever and didn't think he
 would last the day minding the Pearly Gates of Heaven.  So he
 phoned Jesus to ask for the day off.
 
 "Why, Peter," Jesus said.  "You know your health is my first
 concern. Take as much time as you need."
 
 As Jesus pondered who he might use to replace Peter, he decided
 to handle the job himself.  It was a very slow day and no one
 approached the Gates until late in the afternoon, when in the
 distance, Jesus saw a bent, white-haired old man slowly making
 his way up the path with the aid of a gnarled cane.
 
 As the man neared, Jesus said, "Good afternoon, sir.  How may I
 help you?"
 
 "Well," replied the man, "I was hoping to enter the Gates of
 Heaven."
 
 "We would certainly love to have you," said Jesus, "but we do have
 certain rules as to who can enter Heaven.  Tell me, what have you
 done to deserve such an honor?"
 
 "Actually, I have done nothing so wonderful myself," said the man.
 "I lived in a small town and led a simple life as a carpenter. But
 my son," he continued, "now HE was special !"
 
 With pride in his voice he said, "I raised him to be a carpenter
 like myself and did my best to teach him right from wrong.  And
 when he grew older, an amazing transformation overcame him and to
 this day he's known throughout the world and loved by all alike."
 
 As Jesus listened to the story, a sense of recognition came to
 him. With a lump in his throat and a tear in his eye, he threw
 open his arms and cried, "Father!"
 
 Emotional at this outburst, the old man threw open his arms and
 yelled, "Pinocchio!"