Two married friends are out drinking one night when one turns to
 the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do.
 
 Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the
 headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine
 and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into
 the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom.
 I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for
 staying out so late!"
 
 His friend looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking
 the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door,
 storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed,
 rub my hands on my wife's butt and say, How about a blow job?...
 and she's always sound asleep."